When it comes to listing a house, good photos are essential. However, there are situations when the home in question is so bad that the seller must go out of their way to make it appear presentable, even if it's a beautiful penthouse apartment with bathtubs overlooking the ocean. Unfortunately, not all of them are successful, and the results can get downright hilarious. Check out these examples of how to never sell a house, and keep your fingers crossed you won't stumble into these homes while apartment-hunting!
That's One Way To Walk On Water
Is anyone up for some swimming pool mowing? If anyone is interested, please say your final goodbyes to loved ones before you begin. Some people might say that it is not a swimming pool because it looks more like an ecosystem. Some might even say it is a giant green smoothie. We don't know what others think about it because we know for sure that this swimming pool glows in the night.
Honestly, we see nothing wrong with this picture. It’s a giant swimming pool that belongs in Shrek. We really hope nobody ever considers taking a dip, though.
A Real Pigsty
Oh, so that's what they meant when they said that the other person renting the place was an absolute pig? Maybe the pig comes with the home. Maybe the homeowner’s spouse said, “Bring home some bacon.” Or who knows, maybe they wanted people to see that it is a pet-friendly home. It looks like the poor pig has lost interest in life or the pandemic got the better of him.
There’s an interesting background story behind this photo. A guy actually bought the house after seeing this photo. However, he later sold it because the pig kept coming back.
Somebody Call A Priest
It is not so often that we get to see a real-life horror house. Or a house that has been used to shoot literally every horror movie in the world. If this is artistic photography, it is pretty good. But that is not the case here because someone actually thought that one cute family would buy this scary house. We recommend bringing a friendly neighborhood priest to inspect before finalizing the purchase.
The bicycle reminds us of the movie Saw. We have a strong feeling that serial killer John Kramer, also called the Jigsaw Killer, used this bicycle.
We Hope This Says "Sue My Cockroach"
What a great kitchen they have there! It appears to be an ideal setting for preparing a delicious dinner for the family. However, not everything in the kitchen is family-friendly. We sincerely hope that the graffiti does not say what we think it's saying. We seriously hope it says "Sue my cockroach", “Support my cockroach”, “Sugar my coffee,” or "Surprise my coconut." There are so many positive things that graffiti could be saying.
While the possibilities are endless, we have concluded that the graffiti says, “Sue My Cook.” We can do this all day long.
The Place Has Good Bones
Hey, at the very least, they were able to remove the body before taking a photograph. When we look at this photo, dozens of questions come to mind. We aren't very interested in learning the answers to any of them. But then again, we genuinely want to know what that stain might possibly be. Did someone really die there? We don't even want to think about what it could potentially be right now.
We could be wrong. See that open window? That's how vampires burst into flames and burn away. The dragging marks could be because the vampire tried to escape, silly.
Just In Case Nature Calls
One could say that these homeowners are trying to flush out non-serious buyers. When some guests ask, "Can I use your toilet," the homeowners say, "It's just at the top of the stairs," and they literally mean it. In all honesty, it is reasonable to assume that every person who lives in this house suffers from severe irritable bowel syndrome and must stop between flights of stairs to use the toilet.
It goes without saying that this toilet design is creepy. It is wrong on so many levels and even in between levels.
A Family of Fire Extinguishers
If we separate young fire extinguishers from the mother too early, they can find it difficult to adapt. Poor babies, look how scared they are. Maybe it is the emergency assembly point, just in case there's a fire in the house. We do not know what would happen if the fire started in this room, though. The homeowners have put all their fire extinguishers in one basket (sorry, we couldn’t help it).
One thing we know for sure is that the homeowners are super scared of house fires. At least the house comes with a freebie?
Secret Gateways To Narnia
Who could go wrong with more doors...right? This room is for those who are passionate about the doors in their lives! The majority of rooms require just one door, with two doors at the very top. We're not sure why someone would need so many in such a tight space as this. The only conclusion we can draw is that they truly, deeply love doors. Maybe one of these doors does lead to Narnia.
However, we cannot ignore the possibility that they are possible fans of Jim Morrison, lead vocalist of the rock band the Doors.
Looks Like A Luxury Prison Cell
When it comes to spending a cold winter night in front of a roaring toilet, there's nothing quite like it, is there? And is this a convenient toilet for the home library? There's something about it that suggests a relaxing environment where one can read a nice book. As long as you're not concerned by the sound of flushing, it's a pleasant environment to spend a nice, calm evening.
Are those pet food bowls between the toilet & bidet? The more we see, the more it looks like a communal area. Honestly, this is a perfect place for those parents who can only get away from their kids when they go to the bathroom.
Don’t Sit Too Close To The TV Kids
It is clear from this photograph that we should not attempt to complete everything in one sitting or we will pass out. In all likelihood, the bones of an old bowling alley, movie theater, or shopping center were used in the construction of this house. The good news is that we don't have to go out and find a track if we just want to run laps. If someone wants to make it to the sofa before the sun goes down, they'll have to get up early and start walking.
Thank heavens for that mirror over the sofa. It makes the room look so much bigger! In all honesty, this is way too big a space. Unless someone wants a room where they can play football or basketball, this is just too much.
We Wonder What The Owner’s Favorite Pattern Is
If Sherlock Holmes ever walked into this room, he would say, "I think I'm beginning to see a pattern here." We’re pretty sure none of our readers have likely come across someone who was obsessed with a design to the point where they plastered it on their walls, curtains, bedspread, and bed skirt. On the other hand, this individual did, and they truly want everyone to know how much they adore leaves.
This looks like the Ishihara color blindness test. Find the number. It's like a lazy person designed a room in a Sims video game and just copied the same pattern on every surface.
To Hell With This House
Here is a very rare opportunity for our readers to see a sacrificial dungeon. This chamber is ideal for cuddling up in front of a fire or for performing demon rituals, among other things. The new homeowners could react something like this after seeing the sacrificial dungeon: “Honey, the flooring in this room isn't something I don’t like. So, why don't we just roll it up and see what's beneath the surface — OMG.”
It is a perfect basement for all satanic ritual needs. It really is so much more convenient just to embed the circle on the floor rather than draw a new one each time. We also love what they've done with the place. Very cozy.
Showing Some Support
Occasionally, the deck begins to buckle under its own weight. So, if there is a broken fridge lying around the house, it could be useful. After all, sometimes broken things can prove super useful in life; just like this house is equipped with a load-bearing fridge. Let's hope that the fridge doesn't break down due to the pressure of the deck because it could be tough to get a new one. It is recommended that buyers leave the refrigerator in its current location.
This is one cool multi-purpose appliance. So if someone asks, “Is your fridge running?” Just say, “No, it cannot run with a deck on its shoulders.”
That's One Way To Kill Bedbugs
These homeowners just toss all of their furniture into their swimming pool on hot days. It is because they understand that even poor furniture needs to cool down. Moreover, there is nothing quite like soaking up the rays of the sun while floating around in the pool on a wet mattress. Someone needs to inform these homeowners that pool floats are a thing, but mattresses don't float. Perhaps they simply wanted to rid themselves of the bedbugs by drowning them.
Moreover, several wild lawn chairs are spotted swimming at the bottom of the watering hole, as well —what a thriving ecosystem.
We’re Not Fans of This House
We bet these homeowners never considered having central air conditioning. We can see that they really love this fan, but if anyone's fan appears to be melting due to the heat, they either need an air conditioning unit or should reconsider their taste in fans. On the surface, it appears as though this fan has given up on life and is ready to embrace death. We have just one question to ask. Does it get hot in the summer?
Maybe the fan has not melted; it could just be really disappointed with its life. Who knows, maybe it will drop seeds in a few weeks so the homeowners can grow a new fan.
Good Luck Using the Bathroom Here
While in the bathroom, some people enjoy reading a book. Others love to be bombarded with several conflicting and contradictory reflections of themselves that keep repeating indefinitely. This one is perfect for the person who enjoys nothing more than watching themselves in there! Some of our readers might wonder, what's better than one mirror in the bathroom. No, even two mirrors don't make the cut. It's HUNDRED BATHROOM MIRRORS.
We are honestly impressed by the seller who took the photo without being in it. We have a strong feeling that the agent is a vampire.
That's Not From the Ikea Catalog
We feel that this is the home of an obsessive botanist who adores his profession so much and wants to be reminded of it at all times by their surroundings. And that includes while they are eating their breakfast cereal. In addition, we cannot ignore the possibility that this dining room belongs to a vegan. One could argue that maybe it shows that nature has finally reclaimed what belonged to it.
Honestly, we’re surprised they left the ceiling. Who else is in favor of an indoor garden room? A few plants look good, but we feel they went a bit overboard with this one.
Ah, The Good Old Days
Hey, this looks like a new movie script in which Marie Antoinette travels to the 1990s and takes up residence with a monkey pirate. This room's design raises several questions for us, starting with the unusual poofy pinkness of absolutely everything and continuing with the bizarre mannequins, including the monkey dressed in a pirate costume. The interior design is inspired by the good old days of 17th-century gowns and CRT televisions.
This one could be used in the book on How To Make An Interior Designer Cry. However, we absolutely LOVE the cat in the right side frame on the ceiling.
Does He Come With the Apartment?
Mr. Andrew was confident that he had ducked out of the way of the realtor's camera before he captured the photo. As soon as they tried to upload the picture, they noticed their mistake. However, it was too late. They had no time to take the photo again and couldn't risk wasting time. So, they uploaded the photo anyway. Honestly, this looks like a scene from the horror film The Shining.
We can imagine the realtor says these exact words whenever someone is interested in buying the house: “And here's the laundry room, a beautiful view of your patio and the creepy old dude that's gonna live with you forever"
The Family That Uses The Toilet Together Stays Together
Two sinks? Check. Bidet? Check. Two toilets? What? It's safe to believe that the owners genuinely enjoy providing choices. Is this equivalent to a fine dining experience in the bathroom, complete with your choice of toilet? Alternatively, is it designed to allow numerous individuals to use the restroom at the same time? It is for people who like having options. We'd let our readers decide which one is the less disturbing of the two.
We feel that husband and wife had no issues using the toilet together and then decided to let their kid join them.
Never Judge A Wall By Its Cover
Why bother with the hassle of genuinely ventilating a house when you can simply install real-looking fake vent panels? We wouldn't even think to look closely at a vent. Which is what they are relying on, and how is this legal? The lesson for our readers is that don't just get an inspection. Get an authorized, competent inspection from a reputable company. It'll cost more up front but way less down the road.
Whoever put that there needs to be placed into the home with no air conditioner in the summer. And if they complain it’s too hot inside, tell them to go near the air vent.
We'd Rather Have Animal Sounds Than Human Sounds
There are numerous ways in which someone can start a fight with their neighbors, the majority of which are either childish or plain foolish, while others are not. Neighbors may believe that displaying their discomfort in front of everyone will solve the problem. It just goes on to show that interested buyers need to do their due diligence. Some could argue that is not a fail; it’s a win against the people who have no clue what living next to a farm means.
However, if anyone is already accustomed to neighbors who make funny sounds, smell bad, and have sex outdoors, animals might be a pleasant change.
It's What's Inside That Counts
We get that they fooled everyone who saw the kitchen picture, but how on earth they expect to get away with it. And now we’re wondering if there could be other fake items in the house too. Did they check the doors or windows? One thing this picture shows is that people can stoop pretty low just for some money. We hope this attempt to disguise the old microwave as a new one broke off the deal.
We are also wondering how that fits over the microwave door handle?? This is some real magician stuff going on here.
Is It A LightHouse?
This is by far the worst of them all. It seems strange that the property has a toilet that is wedged at an odd angle between the stairwell and the ground floor. We bet someone lost a drunken bet over whether a toilet could be installed in that spot. It looks goofy but amazingly they made it work. Just imagine if this nightmare toilet ever has a plumbing issue. Oh boy, we cannot even think about the mess it will create in the house.
Honestly, we don’t care about the toilet now. Just look at those stairs from hell. Everything in this photo is just…pure evil.
The Coolest Flat Screen TV Ever
Who needs to mount a television when we can easily custom-build it, right? This is so many levels of dumb that we cannot even think about what was going on in the homeowner's mind when they thought it seemed like a good idea. Honestly, this looks a lot like a "hold my beer" construction job. We seriously hope the television never falls due to strong winds or downpours.
Hey, we have a strong feeling that this television belongs to the person who has a toilet stuck between the stairway and the ground floor.
No One Will Ever Notice
Somebody please give this person a gold medal in photo editing. After all, they achieved the highest level of photo editing in just a couple of minutes. While some would argue that even Snapchat has a better filter than this, we believe it is a masterpiece. It took us a minute to realize that this was a pathetic attempt at photo editing rather than some sort of toxic gas. One wonders who would be brave enough to buy a radioactive lawn.
It's like a creepy green fog from a horror movie, something like the Goosebumps episodes with the cheap '90s effects.
Failure Is Not An Option
Oh gosh, it is giving us anxiety. What kind of monstrosity is this? We wonder how many house keys are down there. This might be the worst nightmare of so many people out there. After all, they wouldn't want to get back home drunk. And is anybody else envisioning a clown with a red balloon and pointy teeth grabbing our ankles while we try to get the door open at 2 am?
This house requires the owners to have a string attached to their keys or some bulky key chains. Or they could hang a bucket. And did anyone else notice what the hell is wrong with the doorknob?
Fire In The Hole
Imagine going in there drunk or trying to kick something down the hole, only to be horrified upon discovering that it merely slides around on the floor. We feel for the drunks that have to use this bathroom. On second thought, it serves the purpose of the bathroom. After all, some people spend way too long in there, especially some guys who use their phones while sitting on the toilet.
We can imagine that a lot of guys try to hit the target in there (by target, we mean the black hole).
That's For Ninja Training, Right?
How on earth someone thought this would be a good idea. Our eyes hurt after seeing this horrible work. Even if it is for cats, we know for sure that they don't need a railing. It is just a poorly done conversion to flats, possibly they are thinking it's only temporary and so have left it easy to remove. If it is for humans, we can imagine all the people living in there go to the hospital at least once a month.
Our guess is that this is for cats or a place for knick-knacks? Maybe garden objects…elves…fairies?
An Apartment Complex Or A Converted Prison?
Someone said, "I like balconies, but I hate rain." The architect replied, "Say no more!" We have to say that this has almost everything to be given the title of the most insane apartment complex of all time. We can bet the welcome board of this apartment complex says, “Welcome to our new high-class death row, hope you enjoy your stay here before you get killed. No pets allowed.”
Moreover, this has everything to become the worst nightmare of an introvert. Therefore, an introvert seeing this apartment complex needs to stay away from it, even if the residence comes free of cost.
Careful Now
It is just two people playing leapfrog. Nothing to see here. Oh, we are only fooling ourselves. After looking at this photo, it is virtually impossible to shake off the mental image that becomes ingrained in one's mind. It is a bad idea but good execution. At least whoever thought of this was pretty good at drawing. Honestly, we will never look at an outlet the same way again.We have to admit that it is funny.
They look shocked. The horrified look on their faces shows that they didn’t lock the door and the kids walked into the bedroom without knocking first.
This House Looks Well Maintained
"I'm sorry, tenant. We're going to have to raise your rent because now that you're living in a 'garden' apartment." These lucky homeowners got themselves a free houseplant! We bet a fun guy used to live in this apartment (we hope some of our readers got what we’re trying to say). We are curious to know how that passed inspection. We mean, we don't think it's a decor piece.
And if anyone thinks that the homeowners can eat these mushrooms, we have to inform everyone that all mushrooms are edible; it's just that some mushrooms are only edible ONCE.
Hot Tub Time Machine
Is it a shower or a Martian teleport? That's a beautiful shower pod! So space-age. It looks like a portal to another dimension. All it requires is a flying car so a person can hop straight out of the shower and straight into the car. If anyone gets a chance to keep this mystic portal or upgrade it, what would they do? Honestly, we think we’d keep this tub.
Not that we don’t like it, we just think it has a terrible color. So changing the color might do the job for us.
A Door Called Toe-Breaker
That’s a sprained ankle waiting to happen. We hope they have good homeowners insurance. There is a huge possibility that someone interpreted the blueprints very literally. This is a 2 for 1. First break your toe, then break your nose. We have to admit their dedication because they really committed to the poor design on this one instead of fixing it. Maybe they built it to avoid flood water from coming in.
We are very optimistic people. So we are glad at least the door can open easily. On the other hand, some would argue they lost their toes just to ensure the door opens freely. Was it a fair deal in the end for them?
Pyramid of Stupidity
What the hell is this? It’s not even near the door. So, to leave this building, a person has to jump gracefully to their left? It's just a jump to the left and a step to the right. Put your hands on your hips, and bring your knees in tight. But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives a person insane. Honestly, it just looks like an ancient Aztec temple. Did no one tell these homeowners that it was a bad idea? Maybe their neighbors and friends wanted something to laugh at for years to come.
We just feel that this is what happens when your brother-in-law is a bricklayer and offers to do the job "real cheap."
A Floating Ferrari
This photo is fake on so many levels. Anyone who could afford a Ferrari isn't going to live in that tiny house. But then we cannot ignore the possibility that paying for the Ferrari leaves a person with little bank balance that they stay in a small house. We are not going to judge anyone's ability to buy a Ferrari because the real issue at hand is why this person decided to photoshop their listing picture.
We think that this person could’ve gone with a white BMW. Or no car at all because driving a Ferrari won’t have an effect on the property’s price.
One Balcony, So Many Uses
We have a feeling that the homeowners had a discussion like this one before getting this balcony: I’m so sick of getting out a ladder once a year to change a light bulb in this chandelier. Honey where’s that contractor’s business card? I have an idea.” This is the balcony where parents can announce to their kids that it’s time for bed. Moreover, this balcony can be used to play Romeo and Juliet.
Now that we have seen it, we feel that a proclamation balcony should be mandatory in all homes with children.
Innovation At Its Finest
What were the homeowners thinking? Sure, let's just cut 2/3 out of this load-bearing support beam for a ceiling fan. That is a load-bearing column and the way it has been cut, the roof could come crashing in no time. Perhaps, cutting 2/3 out of this load-bearing support beam was easier than replacing the ceiling fan with shorter blades or blades within housing. One can imagine how difficult it must have been for the homeowners to decide.
From the looks of it, they didn’t turn on the fan in the first place. They simply installed the ceiling fan and realized they would have to cut the support beam because THERE WAS NO OTHER OPTION. Oh boy!
That's A Burn
Isn't life stressful enough that we have to see this? Of all the things we have seen so far, this one bothers us the most. We have so many questions to ask. How and why did it happen? Maybe the glass top broke and they ordered a new top but not the correct size. If that is the case, why does it still look odd because the two top burners look way too close together.
This seems like the work of someone who didn't know what they were doing and didn't ask for any help. Can someone please put it out of its misery?
Open Concept Toilet
One could say that this bathroom belongs to a teenager (if you know what we mean to say). We can understand that there wasn't too much space for this door, but they could've considered other options like a pocket door or a rolling barn door that can enhance the aesthetics of the place without affecting the indoor ambiance. Maybe they installed a new toilet with the door open and before they realized their mistake, it was too late.
Just like the family who had to sacrifice the support beam for the ceiling fan, they can cut through the door to make way for the toilet.