We've all been there: You go out to have a relaxing night and a couple of drinks, but one thing quickly leads to another, the alcohol is flowing, and suddenly you're completely intoxicated. The following day you wake up to find that you've blacked out, and there's a scar where your kidney should be. Okay, that was dramatic, but you know what we mean. A night out bar-hopping can quickly lead to wild - and hilarious - results. So pop that bottle and get ready for some laughs.
When You Can't Make It to the Bed...
Passing out on the floor after a night of heavy drinking is pretty common, but this girl is an absolute genius. We've never thought about passing out in a box filled with packing peanuts. Well, maybe we contemplated the idea once or twice when we were younger. But, this girl is clearly living the dream. This does make us really curious as to how she ended up falling asleep in a box.
Did it start off as a joke, and then she just passed out in there? Or did she see it on the way to her bed and thought the box would make for a better place to sleep?
Who Said Small Town Partying Isn't Wild?
Sometimes, one of the best things that can happen when you have a little too much to drink is to discover you're actually really good at making new friends. These guys got drunk in a small town, and instead of enjoying a couple of drinks and going home, they decided to have a proper romp around the countryside. The inebriated versions of themselves even managed to make friends with what looked like a llama.
We're not sure exactly what kind of animal that is, but we are sure this was an absolutely epic night. Small towns can be really great when you mingle with the locals a bit.
Every Drunk Person's Alarm
We've surely all been here before. You've had a couple of drinks, and it's finally time to hit the bed. But, you still have to set the alarm to wake up in a couple of hours for work. If you're anything like us, then you might get halfway through setting it only to realize you've been adding and subtracting on the calculator for the past five minutes. We just hope this person made it to work the next day.
It's not their fault. How would they know the difference? Especially if they dread the very existence of a math problem in the first place. It's probably best to take the day off if you're this far gone anyway.
Not All Heroes Wear Capes
The alcohol seems to have given this guy the munchies. So he took matters into his own hands and decided to order out. But there was one problem: he couldn't make up his mind about what he wanted to eat. Luckily, he landed the coolest delivery driver in the world, who stopped by Mcdonald's on the way to deliver his pizza order. Like, seriously, the real hero here is this driver.
We hope the guy tipped him well because he deserves every penny of it. We might have a little less patience than he does were we put into this situation.
At Least He Returns It Once He's Sober
This photo is really kind of heartwarming. Apparently, somebody woke up after a night of heavy drinking to find a brand new bike in their yard. When they realized they had drunkenly stolen the bike, they attempted to find the stolen bike's owner. How many people can say that they'd do the same? It only makes sense that this would happen in Canada; at least, that's where a quick Google search shows the area code is from.
We wonder if this person was still intoxicated when they made this sign, though. We can spot at least one drunken typo.
We Call This a Life Hack
There are two kinds of people in this world. You have people who get dumber when they drink, and then you have people like the one below. We never thought we'd say this, but be like this person when you're drunk. This genius orchestrated an entire ride out of thin air and was pretty blasted while doing it. Not only that, but they also got a meal in the process. Asking the delivery person to take you home along with the kebab you just ordered for delivery is a stellar life hack.
We wish we were this clever when sober, much less when we're drinking.
Some Lose Their Minds, Some Lose Their Legs
When the line to get into a bar or club is just too long, sometimes you have to get inventive with how you hold your place in line. We're not sure if that's what happened here, but that seems like the most likely answer. Why else would someone leave their prosthetic leg just standing on the curb like that? Also, how in the world did they manage to forget it?
It's not like the person that left it wouldn't easily notice it was missing. This one is just puzzling, but we guess anything is possible after enough drinks.
Math Is Hard
We can't say we blame Tammy for this one; math is just really hard, especially when you're drunk. That one $10 dollar bill may have looked like two to her during the moment, but we're guessing the cab driver wasn't too thrilled. And when you've been drinking, the last person you want to upset is your driver. Luckily, it looks like things worked out for Tammy, who tweeted this message telling of her ordeal.
Tammy throwing the cab driver a wink at the end just makes this whole story ten times better. The driver was probably wondering what in the world was wrong with this woman who not only underpaid him for a $24 ride but then flirtatiously told him to keep the non-existent change.
Drunk Ingenuity At It's Finest
Public transportation is rarely the cleanest way to move around, but it is often the most efficient. This is especially true after you've had a couple of drinks. Firstly, we just want to say that it's good this woman took the train to get home. Secondly, she may have mixed up her shoe and phone, but at least she has the awareness to know she should be wearing something on her feet.
Those subway trains can be pretty dirty. The last thing you want after a night out is to wake up with a foot infection the next morning. But she better clean that phone screen.
So Did They Keep Chatting for Those Five Minutes?
It can be pretty hard to be considerate when you've been drinking. For one, you don't always have a sense of when you're being rude or not. Well, most of us don't, but this person seems to have it all down. She even apologized to herself after bumping into her own reflection. Now, that's how you know someone is really a polite person. It's also how you know they're really wasted.
The fact that it took them around five minutes to realize they were staring at a reflection of themselves is another tell-tell sign they might've had a bit too much to drink.
When the Alcohol Gets Your Creativity Going
Accidents can happen after a couple of alcoholic drinks, but they can also be fixed. Sometimes all you need is a stick and a little ingenuity. Like, seriously, this is a pretty clever way to quickly fix a shower rod, and it's serving some serious high-class interior decor vibes. We're sure they didn't leave it up for too long, but a long tree branch is not a bad solution when you're in desperate need of a post-party shower.
We wouldn't go as far as to call this handcrafted per se, but it's not bad for a drunk person. We just hope they cleaned it off before they threw it in the shower.
When The Bouncer Is Your Dad
This one is really unfortunate. She was so close to getting home unharmed after a big night of partying, but a cop showed up at the last minute. The cop also happened to be her dad, and the bar they thought they were walking into was just their home. That's right - this person thought their front door was another bar and showed her dad, who was dressed in uniform and about to leave for work, her ID.
We wish we could have seen the look on the father's face when their boozy kid showed up at the door in the early hours of the morning. Honestly, we probably would have struggled to keep ourselves from laughing.
The Worst Moment of His Life
Alcohol can do one of two things: it can make you feel either really happy or really sad. It looks like this guy was feeling the latter after dropping his burrito on the ground. We can't say we blame him. Just imagine the excitement and buildup that took place when he was making a bite to eat late at night, only for that dream to be shattered the moment the food fell on the floor.
Sure, he probably threw some uncooked rice and lemon peels in there, but that's not the point. The point is this man did all that work for nothing but heartbreak.
Something Tells Us Last Night Got Sketchy
We're not going to speculate what happened on this night, but we will say it seems kind of shady that this person woke up with more money than they started the night with. Usually, you wake up with a serious dent in your pocket after a long night of drinks, not 12 times more money than you started with, two phones, and the keys to someone else's car. Yeah, something seriously shady happened the night before.
We'd check the news first thing just to see if somebody went on a borrowing spree the night before. Hopefully not, though, and this person just borrowed from some friends and forgot to give it back.
That Friend Who's the Most Considerate Even When They're Drunk
We all have that one friend who shoots us inexplicable drunk texts every now and then. But Derrick seems to be on another level: his intoxication made him forget that his friend works at a hospital, which might be why her location was at the hospital. At least he cares, though. We're sure Derrick calmed down a bit after getting a text back because you can just feel the anxiety in his text message. We're also sure Derrick felt a couple of other emotions after he received a response.
But it could have been a lot worse. She could've really been in trouble and sent to the hospital. At least Derrick was attentive enough, even after a few drinks, to check in and make sure everything was okay.
Cheers To These Cops
You know what they say about drinking and driving: never do it. This guy actually found a couple of really helpful cops that ended up bringing him home. Not only that, but they took a photo with him so he'd remember how he got there. Now, imagine waking up in the morning and seeing a photo of two officers in your bedroom. That would usually be a sign something really bad happened, but this guy got lucky.
Whoever these two officers are, they definitely deserve an award. It's not every day you see two people as thoughtful as this, and if we were this guy, we would have gotten in touch and offered our thanks the next day.
Not the Response She Was Hoping for
Ouch, one of these was bound to pop up on this list sooner or later. There's nothing worse than waking up to find that you've sent your ex a text the night before. Well, them actually texting back a response like this might be a bit worse, actually. This guy or girl broke the cardinal sin of drinking and was punished in the worse way possible: their ex responded by asking, "Who is this?"
Actually, where were this person's friends when all this was happening? Remember people, keep your friends away from their text messages the same way you keep them away from their keys when drinking.
Does It Still Count?
We have a lot of questions about this photo. How long was this guy staring down this Guy Fawkes mask? What made him finally work up the courage to go for it and give it a big smooch? And what took place after this photo was taken? We don't know, but hopefully, these two lived happily ever after. It's not every day you meet your soulmate while binge drinking yourself into delusion.
One of the funniest things about this photo isn't the actual guy kissing a mask, though. It's the reactions of the people in the background. The girl on the right definitely knows what's going on.
She Took "Airplane Mode" a Little Too Literally
Debra here managed to teach herself a lesson in physics when she was drunk one night. And while it might seem obvious to most people that airplane mode doesn't actually make your phone fly, it actually does kind of make sense if you think about it. We mean, technology moves fast these days. No? okay. Well, we're pretty sure Debra won't be trying to send her phone flying anytime soon after this little escapade.
Remember everyone: leave the physics to the professionals when you've had a bit too much to drink, and don't try throwing your phone into the air to see if it can fly in airplane mode.
Dogs: A (drunk) Woman's Best Friend
Some of the funniest drinking buddies are actually your cuddly pets. Well, maybe dogs more so than cats. Dogs will let you do pretty much whatever you want while you're drunk as long as you're giving them some attention. This little guy was turned into a dinosaur using party hats, and while we can't say we see the similarities, we're sure it made sense after a couple of beers.
This little guy does have a certain look on his face, though. He's probably wondering what in the world is going on and why the humans are acting so wild at the moment.
Meal Prepping Gone Wrong
Speaking of getting things done when you're drunk. If you ever find yourself home after a long night of drinking and wanting to be efficient, then just don't. Even if you do manage to accomplish something, it's likely not going to turn out however you want it to turn out. This girl's meal prep attempts might have seemed like a good idea during the moment, but she woke up to find her containers completely empty.
However, that does beg the question, what was Jess actually doing the whole time? If she did pack something, did she just end up eating it the same night?
When Lies Lead To Love
The world really is a small place. One minute you're chatting somebody up using a fake accent, and the next, you find their Tinder profile and learn they were doing the same to you. We personally really like the Irish accent, so we'd probably be a bit more disappointed to learn that it was all a fake. However, this girl certainly didn't mind, and it really does seem like these two would be a pretty great match.
It's not every day you find somebody as committed to their bit as you are, after all. The fact that she later found him on Tinder just means it was meant to be.
Nothing Like Some Leftover Pizza the Next Morning
This person certainly had good intentions when they stored their slice where their water bottle should go. We mean, nobody likes food waste, right? But it looks like they forgot about it and ended up leaving it on the bike. To be honest, this is actually a pretty clever way to store a slice of pizza when riding around on a bike. It's just a shame the pizza ended up going to waste.
It's also pretty impressive that this person was able to ride a bike home after drinking all night. We're sure they weren't riding in a straight line, but at least they weren't driving.
Never Trust Drunk You
They say that drinking water before bed is a good way to stave off any potential hangover the next morning. Often, we find ourselves even leaving a little water by the bed in case we wake up parched during the night or in the morning. However, the drunk version of this guy must really not like his sober alter ego. Instead of leaving himself water, he left vodka, which must've been horrible to drink with a pounding head.
That's a pretty diabolical thing to do to one's self. Always remember to smell the drink — even if it's clear — before drinking, or you could end up like this guy.
Talking in Code
Drunk texts are great, aren't they? Well, as long as you're texting a friend and not trying to rekindle something with an ex. Those can lead to some awkward mornings. However, Scotti here seems to have mastered the art form. We aren't sure if this was an autocorrect issue or if Scotti really thought there was a need to use codewords for some reason, but it turned out great either way.
Alternatively, Scotti could be really talking about kittens. If that's the case, then yes, we agree; Scotti probably needs some help. Otherwise, keep on making mundane conversations interesting, Scotti.
Walking Home Drunk Is Always an Adventure
If you've ever tried to walk somewhere when you've been drunk, then you likely feel this person's pain. It can seem like it takes forever to get where you're going after you've had a couple of beers, and it seems we finally know why. A couple of steps to the door can easily turn into an entire journey, and that's assuming you don't get lost along the way.
It's actually kind of impressive this guy decided to go for a breezy walk when they were wasted. It's even more impressive they were able to find their way back home.
Might as Well Throw Them in the Trash
Yes, sometimes our drunk selves manage to successfully take care of business; other times, our drunk selves do their best. This is one of those times. This is actually a pretty hilarious photo and just goes to show that a few alcoholic beverages really does impede our ability to see and think clearly. However, it also shows that we can still get things done, even if those things don't turn out perfect.
We also bet this person won't be wearing those contacts anytime soon. Could you imagine if their vision was so bad that they didn't notice the contacts were covered in makeup the next morning and just put them back in?
It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time
You know those ideas you have when you get incredibly intoxicated? Yeah, just let those be and go do something else. Otherwise, you might find yourself lining up potatoes on the table at 4 pm in the day. We mean, we're not saying it isn't impressive, but it doesn't seem particularly useful. Once again, we can see the appeal; we're just saying there are other ways to spend your time while drinking.
Then again, it seems to have gotten a laugh out of this mom, so maybe it was worth all the effort. We wonder what her reaction to this photo was after she sobered up.
Wrong Number?
Some activities out there are known for their ability to increase our reflexes and spatial awareness. Drinking is not one of those activities. Don't want to take our word for it? Just take a look at this conversation. This guy was either trying to text somebody else or completely forgot he was standing right in front of his friend who was sending him messages. Either way, not exactly an example of peak awareness.
We also wish we could've seen the look on the friend's face while this conversation was taking place. We hope it was one of bewilderment and silent judgment.
Booze Brings Out Everyone's Inner Photographer
Alcohol has a tendency to bring out people's artsy sides for some reason. We've already seen the guy who fastened a shower rod out of a stick, but just take a look at these photos. We've never seen a Mcdonald's hashbrowns elevated to such an artistic level. It's really quite beautiful, and we bet this guy was thinking the same when he was snapping these photos at four in the morning.
Jokes aside, these photos are actually pretty good. Mcdonald's should think about hiring this guy for food photography. We doubt they have anybody else as passionate about their work as this person.
You've Got To Go Back for Those J's
This one kind of hurts. Forgetting something while drinking is pretty common, but this guy ended up forgetting his shoes after a night of bowling. Also, isn't that technically like stealing? We won't get into the legal issues this photo brings up, but it definitely hurts to wake up the next morning and find out that you left your shoes - and not just any shoes; he left his J's - at the bowling alley.
But, hey, maybe this guy can start a new trend. How many people can actually sport a pair of bowling shoes around? We're guessing not very many.
Why Does It Feel Like the Food Is Watching Us?
We had a couple of questions after first seeing this photo. First of all, how long would this actually take? Secondly, at what level of intoxication does your brain suddenly flip a switch and turn into a creative genius? There's, of course, also the question of why these people had so many googly eyes just lying about the house, but we won't get into that here. Let's just sit back and stare at this masterpiece.
We also agree with whoever took this photo. How could you be mad at a roommate after seeing this in the fridge? Honestly, it might be a bit sad when it comes time to throw away any of those bottles.
Looks Like a Perfect Match
You should always be extra careful when you're out and about drinking. However, this little guy seems to have followed this girl home after a night of heavy drinking. While a cat isn't the worst thing somebody can bring home from the bar, that's still a pretty big commitment. Best to leave those kinds of choices for after you sober up. Drinking is for escaping responsibilities, not adding to them.
But, on second thought, this cat does look pretty comfortable all snuggled up in the bed. We suppose this isn't the worse way to spend a night. We just hope she picked up some food for that little guy while she was on the way home.
What In The Master Chef Is Going On?
We often lose our ability to care about cleanliness when we're drinking. However, we're having a hard time picturing what actually led to the results in this photo. What could this person have been trying to cook that would have led to a mess like this? We're thinking that there must be more to this story than just a drunk person trying to cook up a meal at four in the morning.
It even looks like part of the ceiling has fallen on the floor. Maybe this was the combined work of a drunk person and a dog? That's the only thing we can think of.
Can You Really Blame Them?
Oktoberfest is one of the booziest, if not the booziest, festivals out there. We mean, it's pretty much focused entirely around beer, so we imagine scenes like these are commonplace at the festival. According to NPR, some 7 million visitors travel to Oktoberfest every year, and they drink around 7.5 million liters of beer. You can't ask all those people to make good decisions when so much alcohol is involved. We do have to ask, though, why the same outfits here?
Maybe it's the traditional dress in Germany? Either way, we're sure the clothes aren't the only things these guys are sharing. That hangover will probably be equally felt by everyone in this photo.
The Beer Munchies Strike Again
As we've seen multiple times on this list, drinking can work up quite the appetite. So, when you wake up with a pound of potato salad in your bag, then you know you've done some heavy lifting the night before. At least this person didn't end up with a mess, as we saw in the last post. But, on the downside, potato salad isn't great to leave in bags.
We seriously doubt you'd want to eat that after it was left out all night. Also, why leave all that potato salad in your bag? Doesn't she know you can easily hide food away in a dresser like a normal drunk person?
Half Shaved
There's nothing worse than waking up and finding something different about your body. Often, that something turns out to be a tattoo after a night of partying. But this guy got a bit lucky and only ended up shaving one of his legs. Why he only shaved one (and the entire thing, at that) and not the other, we can't answer, but we're sure he wore pants while the hair grew back.
It's actually kind of impressive how clean of a shave the drunk version of himself was able to achieve. It appears as if he used lotion and everything because we can't make out any marks.
Not A Bad Find
It's not uncommon to wake up and find already eaten food after a long night of drinking. But, it's pretty rare to wake up and find a couple of leftover pizzas just hidden away in your drawers. As we've already seen, the drunk versions of ourselves don't always have the best of intentions. You could wake up to find that your water has been switched out for a glass of vodka.
But, we do have to wonder why he hid away his dinner in his drawers. Maybe the refrigerator was just too far to get up and walk to late at night?
Need A Hand?
This guy has a lot of faith in his flannel pocket. We can't get a pen to stay in there, much less an entire pint of Guinness. But it looks pretty secure in there. This whole photo kind of reminds us of the way a koala or a kangaroo carries their young in their pouch. It's like this guy is carrying his baby in his own little pouch.
Jokes aside, this is actually really impressive. If anyone at Guinness is reading this right now, then reach out to this man and offer him some merchandise or something.
That Must've Been a Pain to Clean up
After a long night of drinking, who wouldn't want a little snack? This guy has the right idea; it just seems to be his execution that's a little off. Drinking can often be great for creativity, at least when it comes to cooking. It opens up your mind to try things sober you would never have thought about. The only problem is some of those creative cooking ideas turn out to not really be that great.
Case in point in this photo. We aren't sure what this person was thinking, but it sure does make for a funny little discovery the morning after, if not a great breakfast.